阿公阿嬤的電話答錄機(可笑or可悲)

好傳神，道盡現代阿公嬤的心聲。

「喂！現在我們不能接電話，請在聽到「嗶」聲後留言.........
"Good morning. . . . 

At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep.........

嗶... 

beeeeeppp ...

如果你是我的子，先按1，再依照你打電話的目的，擇1到8；
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 8

假如你是要我們去陪孫子，按1；

If you need us to stay with the children, press 1

如果你是要跟我們借車，按2；
If you want to borrow the car, press 2

如果你是要我們幫你洗衣服、燙衣服，按3：
If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 3

若是你要送孫子到我們這裡過夜，按4；
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 4

假若你是要我們到學校接孩子，按5；
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 5

如果你想禮拜天來吃飯、或是做一頓飯然後快遞到你家，按6；
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home,press 6

假如你現在要過來吃飯，按7；
If you want to come to eat here, press 7

若是你需要錢，按8
If you need money, press 8

如果你是要邀請我們出去吃飯、或是去看戲，直接說話……
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theater start talking,

我們正在聽!!!!!!!!!!」
we are listening !!!!!!!!!!